Fear: A Silent Instigator

Of all complex situations in the workplace, fear is not often a term discussed or even considered when it comes to addressing and managing disagreements or tense situations.

I recently commenced reading a book I remind myself to open each year: Wired for Joy. The author, Laurel Mellin, helps readers understand more about how the brain functions. In brief (you should purchase the book!), there are joy circuits and stress circuits. Stress circuits are all around us – at home, in the office, on the road. Joy circuits, however, are harder to come by. And, like anything, practice makes perfect. When stress circuits are used regularly, they are more easily triggered.

OK, so what does this have to do with fear?

Picture yourself at work. You have a colleague who just wrote you a nastygram, insinuating your knowledge is inferior to their own. First, take virtual communication into consideration. This person may simply have a poor tone in email (I encourage you to pick up the phone *once you are calm* if you sense miscommunication or passive aggressive behavior). But beyond the tone or the insinuation, are your feelings. Your blood pressure rose, and your brain went straight to the stressed state.

What I described is as typical as getting water when we are thirsty. It’s not that we want to feel poor, but our brains tell us something is wrong. While I won’t try to explain the technicalities of neurotransmitters – Laurel can do that – I did consider a tactic that can help reground you and help you realize what is actually bothersome. What I realized is a lot of stress, and anger, stems from fear.

Next time you feel angry, give this method a shot:

• Ask yourself who you are angry toward. List the person or people.

• Then, ask yourself the reason. Record the reason.

• Now, consider what it effects. Self-esteem? Security? Ambitions? Personal relations?

• Finally, what are the underlying fears?

Let’s take the above example. Pretend Mark sent you the email. Mark is the person you are angry toward. The reason you are angry is that he is acting as he knows more than you do. <Enter reflective mode here.> The email made you feel less intelligent, gave you a swirl of insecurity about your job, and made you question if you are good enough. Further, you are now angry at Mark. How dare he? ... But what are you afraid of? Perhaps you are fearful you may lose your job, or you fear the project you need to work on with Mark will be a catastrophe.

Consider your feelings, and this process, the next time your blood boils. It may have less to do with the person (albeit we all have these tedious experiences!) and more to do with your fears. Once you recognize those fears, you are empowered to respond with insight – maybe even vulnerability – and not hostility. This helps ease tension and supports cohesion rather than opposition.

/Article originally published on LinkedIn./

Listening vs. Waiting to Talk

We have all been there. You can picture it. Whether you are the one unable to listen, or you are watching your colleague from across the room – awkwardly shifting with anticipation for their turn to talk – listening actively is harder than it looks.

Only 10% of people listen effectively, and actively. The rest of us are worried about what we are going to say, how we want to respond, or how we want to frame our advice. What’s more, if it is not our own reply that we are conjuring up as another person speaks, then it is the dinging of our phones – email, texts, and calls – or simply the noise in our heads that make sure we are distracted from listening. If you are honest, the odds of us being completely present when another person is speaking, are low.

Listening is less about the physical ability to hear, and more about comprehension, internalization, and recognition – even the pauses (some would say awkward silences) have meaning.

The good news? Active listening is a skill, and like any skill, it can be honed. If you are familiar with mindfulness or the notion of being in the present moment, you are already a step ahead. Through being present, you are more physically capable to listen.

Why should we care about listening? Well, a lot of reasons. First, if you are a manager, you need to actively listen to your team members. This not only increases empathy, it decreases conflict, and promotes trust. (What an efficient way to spark cohesion!) These benefits are unquestionably valuable among friends, family, and peers - of all ages - as well.

Exercise: Ask a colleague or loved one to practice with you (it is highly probable they need the help too!). Meet for tea or coffee, and ask your counterpart a simple question: how are they doing? This exercise should focus on asking open-ended questions. This is not about you offering advice or judging what is being said. It is about recognizing when your mind drifts. Are you thinking about the temperature of the coffee? The weather? Or perhaps you’re thinking about what may happen if your child doesn’t make the basketball team. Try to be aware of all of those thoughts. Rather than fight them, recognize them and come back to the present moment (listening to your counterpart) without judgement.

What this exercise will do:

• It will show you how much your mind wanders

• It will encourage you to be more mindful of your thoughts

• It will challenge you to realize your intentions of speaking e.g., rebuttals, advice, point-making.

This may seem slightly off topic for leadership advisement, but I assure you it is not! Instead, attentive and fully engaged listening is essential to establishing authentic relationships and cultivating team cohesion.   

Virtual Teams: Explained.

Virtual teams will soon simply be called “teams.” Yet, and unfortunately, the extent to which virtual teams are utilized in corporations has exceeded the research done on the topic. Virtual teams consist of an interconnected group – this interconnectivity comprises shared goals or expected outputs from organizations. Virtual teams are dispersed throughout the nation, or world, and this trend is increasing as globalization continues to prosper. RW CultureWizard (2016) completed a survey consisting of 1372 business respondents from 80 countries; 85 percent of the participants worked on virtual teams. 85 percent! The extent to which virtual teams are prevalent points to the necessity of continued support for managers, and employees alike, under this virtual framework.

I recently spoke with a peer who was promoted several months ago. She shared with me her new manager is unaccustomed to managing from afar. In fact, the notion of managing a virtual team member is as foreign to him as the German language is to me. This points to the reality that managers who are being asked to manage virtually need just as much advice and/or coaching as the team members who are virtual. 

There are a lot of benefits of virtual teams. Geographic variation can contribute to less time in transit for client travel (think of territory allocation), diversity in teams increases creativity and problem solving (interested in the literature?), and productivity can increase due to time zone variation.

But, I would be remiss if I did not mention the disadvantages. Team engagement can suffer as a result of less frequent communication, disjointed (non-media-rich) narratives, damaged trust due to miscommunication, confused staff responsibility, minimal empowerment, and managerial-staff conflict.

At the root of it all? Communication. If you have been managing a virtual team, take a moment to reflect with me. What cadences do you have in place to communicate with each team member? What is the frequency? What process ensures communication among team members (needed for camaraderie and collaboration)? Now, what is the intent of those meetings? Is each and every conversation goal-oriented and work-specific? Or do you work diligently to incorporate the development of “human stuff” -- AKA interpersonal relations?

Each and every team is different; thus, I cannot say the issues you face are going to have a similar resolution as another group. What I can say is this: even researchers are busy getting to the theoretical undertones of what makes a virtual team effective. Do not despair, there are plenty of tried and true ways to work in a virtual environment. A couple of my favorites include (a) leveraging technology wisely, (b) putting your people first, and (c) understanding the necessity of unifying your team.

The best approach to understand what challenges you face require gathering information – this is true for both virtual and non-virtual teams. Knowing where you are – comprehending challenges, opportunities, and perception — will give you significant insight into blind spots, areas for improvement, and empathy for the challenges virtual team members face.

An area research has identified to be relevant for virtual management is the behavioral profiles of those who lead virtual teams. Since these managers must counteract the absence of a face-to-face dynamic, his or her ability to be even more engaged (and engaging) becomes front and center. The ability to facilitate member engagement, appreciate cultural diversity, and build trust, are paramount. Remember, media-richness is not on your side. Utilize tools that are the next best thing e.g., video chat and group discussion forums. If this is all too new, let’s come up with a plan. If you are facing some challenges within your virtual team, we can tackle one at a time to verify team alignment and maintain accomplishment.  

Hacks to Increasing Team Effectiveness

Effective teams lead to greater productivity, better use of resources, sophisticated problem solving, and an increase in innovative ideas or creativity. Then, why is it, we struggle to craft these invaluable cohorts?

As you prepare for the New Year, consider the following to help you reset the stage for managing your team.  

Clarity in Goals.
I know, I keep coming back to this (but it’s essential!). Removing ambiguity and providing clarity is very powerful in management. To that point, team goals need to be just as clear. Why? First off, team members can tell whether performance objectives have been attained. Second, without clear team goals, several obstacles are likely to get in the way. These include (a) team members setting their own goals that may be in opposition to what the team needs to accomplish (b) personal agendas may get in the way of identified targets, (c) power issues can and will contribute to personality conflict and dilute time allocation.

Vague tasks leave team members questioning the details and unsure about the overall necessity of what they’re aiming to achieve. A compelling and shared purpose not only motivates team members, but it also requires full engagement of their talents.   

Competency.
It seems logical, but team members need to be made up of the right types of people. Technical aptitude cannot be replaced – each person needs to possess the right level of competency to achieve team goals. Further, members also need interpersonal and teamwork skills. A common mistake (and this goes back to clarity): an assumption is made that people have the technical and/or interpersonal skills to be effective in their assigned roles. Team leads need to not only set expectations about technical and interpersonal capability but must identify the normalcy and helpfulness in continued education. If a team member is underperforming in one of the areas above, he or she needs further direction. Make sure they understand why they need it and come up with a plan to help them get it.

Collaborative Climate.
A collaborative climate may seem like a no-brainer. If you want a capable team – you need to have collaboration. What allows a collaborative environment?

1. A space that allows for healthy but respectful debate

2. Active listening skills

3. Empathy

4. Honesty

Each team member has their uniqueness; they bring with them different perspectives, opinions, and expertise. It’s about channeling differences to ensure discussion. Team members must take ownership of wanting a collaborative environment. If collaboration is failing, it’s a two-prong failure. 1) The team needs to coordinate their individual contributions and look to items 1-4 to achieve improvement. 2) Effective team leaders can facilitate a collaborate climate by managing their own need to control, ensuring a safe space for communication, and guiding the team into this problem-solving framework by also integrating items 1-4 into group dynamics and expectations. [This framework is correlated to the need for clear norms of conduct: how are people expected to behave?]

Support and Recognition.
As discussed, a clear goal is needed to ensure accomplishment. But once accomplishment is reached, what then? New goals can be crafted and implemented, but too, recognition of success needs to take place. Take note: if the team is truly functioning as a team – team performance and accomplishment should be recognized and rewarded, not individual performance; this can cause a divide among team members.

Additionally, a widespread mistake is to assign challenging feats, but not provide adequate support to accomplish assignments. Researchers Hyatt and Ruddy found that having systems in place to support teams e.g., clear direction, data, resources, rewards, and training, enables teams to be more effective and achieve goals.

Principled Leadership.
It is up to the team leader to implement programming that supports the collective. If you’re a team leader and you are realizing the number of goals set for your team may be overwhelming, look to see what can be removed, clarified, and reintroduced to the team. Further, if you are concerned about competency, look to your leadership to ensure resources will be provided to help your cohort succeed. Ultimately, it’s up to you to create an environment that is collaborative. If you’re struggling on how to implement changes, approach the people you report to, or are generally unsure about some challenges, let’s schedule a time to speak.   

As we enter the holidays, I am going to take a several-week break. I look forward to sharing leadership and management recommendations as well as proven tactics for improvement when I return in 2019!