Need a Differentiator? Master EQ.

If you think about it, what is the common thread throughout all business?  People.

Emotional intelligence is defined in a myriad of ways, but the short and sweet version: it is the ability for a person to be aware of their feelings and others, while also controlling emotions, being thoughtful with responses.

Whether we are communicating with a family member, or a Fortune 100 company, understanding others, acting empathetically, and adjusting for the environment is 

Positivity Meets Reality: The world is not perfect, no. Far from it in fact. Yet, positive people often lift those up around them and approach issues as opportunities. When people are able to take challenges or obstacles and look at them for what they are - challenging but not life-threatening – the positive outlook perseveres.

Stress Management:  How do you manage your stress? Whether someone cuts you off on the highway or smacks you in the face with an umbrella (more common in NYC), that is no reason to let your day unravel. I propose: be aware of your frustration, recognize it for what it is, accept it, and move on. Deep breathing helps (as does some intense exercise!).

Take note: Facial expressions and body language speak loudly. If someone is avoiding eye contact or shifting their weight, is the conversation worth having? Or, is someone beginning to stir with anger? Being aware of others’ behaviors and body language can help circumvent heightened arguments or can save time. Hold the challenging discussion for time all parties can be attentive and thoughtful.

Higher EQ supports team alignment, reduces conflict, lowers stress, and fuels the positivity tank. Unsurprisingly, positive spins result in proactivity and solution-focused perspectives, as opposed to reactivity (its evil twin).

Keep fighting the good fight!

First published on LinkedIn

You Are Not As Lonely As You Think

Recent discourse with industry experts allowed me to reach the following conclusion: we are all a little more alike than we may know (or admit). For those who follow my blog and publications, you know I support middle managers across the spectrum— both frontline and mid-career. A trend I regularly hear from my coachees is that of a self-admitted lacking knowledge. This knowledge – knowledge to manage effectively, knowledge to spark cohesion, to craft a vision, to draw upon individuals’ strengths, is invaluable. The brilliant thing about education is that it cures these (management) ailments which cause disengagement and turnover. But at the root of this lacking knowledge is a feeling of loneliness.  

Loneliness is sparked by pressure: (1) pressure from the top to perform, to increase profit, to engage the workforce, and (2) pressure from the team to resolve concerns, increase resources, address benefits, resolve interpersonal conflict… the list goes on.

Although loneliness is a common theme – what I do not often see is a coalition for managers to learn from one another or to support each other (who has the time!?). I also observe hesitancy to allocate funding to the coaching and training of managers, even though disengagement costs businesses in the U.S. over $350 billion/year. While a different topic, managerial training is proven – yes proven – to retain talent.

Back to loneliness. What loneliness drives is isolation, and not much good comes from isolation. Creative solutions dissipate, cohesion of managers cease to exist, and the pressure managers feel to “do it all,” increases. 

In this same breath, loneliness is not an issue unique to middle management. In fact, I am told it is quite the opposite.

Wendy Luttrell, Owner of C Suite Goals, a west coast-based consulting firm, realized a need to support CEOs after her lived experience. Wendy is a seasoned CEO with experience in the Fashion sector (most notably taking BedHead Pajamas from 4M – 12M and exiting the owner profitably).  She is not unknown in fashion – having worked with Eileen Fisher, Sketchers, Linea Pelle, and Hello Kitty.  

From Wendy’s point of view:

 “When I was running BedHead it was a daily struggle to keep a positive attitude and motivate the team to grow.  Working alone in a vacuum can be paralyzing, I kept pushing forward by calling on my network to bounce ideas and get encouragement.  As CEO’s and business owners we are called upon to consistently be a support system for our teams and for the owners of our companies.  Who takes care of CEO’s?  This is why I feel I have a calling to provide a support system for CEO’s and business owners.  I work with CEO’s to help them through each day, when they feel like impostors, and when they feel the weight of the responsibility of leading the team with no support.  I consistently hear that CEO’s have no one to talk to.  Providing an ear through my Vistage Peer support group and through my private practice gives leaders a break – providing a safe space to talk about challenges they face and celebrate their victories and grow as people and leaders.” 

The challenges middle management or executive leaders face may be different, but a basic human need remains the same – the need to confide and the desire to collaborate with peers. The support that one gleans from shared experiences can yield creative solutions and offer emotional support. But, moreover, the discussion of our perceived isolation is useful to demonstrate how we are not all that different - an interesting takeaway.

Bringing Ethics into Your Leadership Strategy

In recent years ethics in business have been studied more closely. With what seems to be increasing opportunity to behave unethically in business, costing credibility of the company, its individuals, and innocent bystanders, what are the checks and balances to ensure moral behavior? 

The dynamic at play is of unique consequence; laws have been implemented to insist upon certain transparencies and practices, e.g., penalizing the act of bribery or inflation of revenues. Yet, according to the National Business Ethics survey, employees – or members of the organization – on whom society relies for whistleblowing, are consistently silenced for fear of employer’s retaliation. With this knowledge, researchers seek to understand what influences individuals to behave ethically.

In sorting through the data, I think the most helpful insights are as follows: individuals rely on their judgment about an ethical issue but place more importance on social expectations. Meaning, when social consensus is high (agreement that something is unethical) individuals more often than not follow suit – e.g., charitable behavior is “good.” This shared behavior can supersede the self-view, acting as a motivator to behave ethically. (If interested in the full study by Albert, Reynolds, and Turan, 2015, I will gladly make it available to you.)

The reason this matters: societies – and micro-societies (your office) can drive and influence behavior. Knowing this, I wanted to look for how. How can we make sure we are leveraging ethics as a culture-driver?

It’s two-fold. Companies have an opportunity to incorporate their values into decision-making. Further, the company values should align with ethical expectations. In fact, researchers emphasize the importance of trust and trustworthiness as a guiding principle. After additional research by Hoover and Pepper (2015), it was found the practice of sharing ethics statements, publicly, increased approval ratings both externally and internally.

Sure, anyone can conjure up an ethics statement, but it circles back around to the essentiality of using frameworks every day. The example I often return to is the importance of a vision statement. This isn’t merely a statement. It needs to be the leading force and the guiding light behind every employees’ behavior. From an ethical perspective, leaders have an opportunity to integrate a complementary ethics statement. (Just in case there is any uncertainty about how a person should behave!)

The goal is to enable each person to take responsibility for their decisions, irrespective of the existence of a formal organizational hierarchy. This ownership mentality – guiding employees to do the right thing – helps decrease the fear of retaliation for the expectations are ubiquitous. This, in turn, creates commonality among team members and social expectation which, as the research tells us, influences others through social consensus.

Acknowledgement In the Workplace: A Retention Strategy

Following my Manager Trapdoors: Four Themes to Correct post, I promised to address the relevance of acknowledgement in the workplace. Identifying acknowledgement as a necessity to contentment at work may seem like a no brainer, but it easily falls through the cracks. Let’s look at the importance of acknowledgement, as well as some easy steps to implement acknowledgment into your day.

The days go by, your teams produce work, and life goes on. Do they feel appreciated for their work? This is a question worth asking.

Acknowledgement not only builds trust, it energizes people. Without a trustworthy environment where motivation is fostered, disengagement is painfully relevant. Gallup estimates that U.S. productivity loss, as a result of disengaged employees, is about $500 billion a year. Further, disengaged employees take an average of 4.5 more sick days per year than actively engaged employees. When the Society for Human Resource Management polled participants for the number one reason they leave a job, the answer was a lack of appreciation.  

Acknowledgement, Recognition, and Appreciation

Judy Umlas, author of the Power of Acknowledgement identified recognition and acknowledgement as two distinct actions.  Recognition is the appreciation of an action. This is the “job well-done” commentary. Thank you for completing a task on time. Think of actions, and their associated result. Conversely, she identifies acknowledgement as the heart-felt appreciation for the person as a whole. This requires a manager to really know their team member. Thank you for being an exceptional listener in that client meeting or I appreciate your natural ability to be genuine. This isn’t the surface-stuff. It’s the underlying behaviors.  

Appreciation, on the other hand, can be accomplished by both acknowledgement and recognition. If we are seeing people flock away due to the absence of appreciation, we have many options in correcting the virus.

To that point, any deficiency in acknowledgement, recognition, and appreciation, contributes to disengagement. Gallup has identified the following:

-       About 30 percent of currently employed people are actively engaged. This is the type of person we should want to see in our organizations. These individuals work with passion, want to succeed, and are committed to their jobs.

-       About 50-52 percent are not engaged employees. They are checked out. Energy is lacking and they do the minimum. (Anyone surprised by this number? Me too.)

-       Then, it’s suggested 18 percent are actively disengaged. The negativity is venomous. From irresponsibility, to speed to criticize, and blatant unhappiness, we’ve all seen a person or two in our careers who demonstrate these behaviors.  

Steps to Take

As a quick background on just one leadership theory, the behavioral approach focuses on what leaders do rather than who leaders are. The behavioral approach suggests that leaders engage in two primary types of behaviors: task behaviors and relationship behaviors. In my work as a management consultant, I have identified the best leaders are focused slightly more (and sometimes significantly so) on relationship behaviors. Can managers be leaders? Absolutely. But the core definitions differ. (Get some more clarity on the difference here.) The point here is this: relationship-oriented leaders and managers will opt to engage in appreciative behaviors more often than their task-oriented counter parts. Unsure where you fall? I can share a great assessment tool with you for self-exploration.  

If you find a team member demonstrating some disengagement traits, try the following.

• Acknowledge them (see above for an example!)

• Recognize them (see above for an example!)

• Listen to them. True listening is a form of acknowledgement. It is validating and truly helps team members feel they are an important part of the team.  

• Adjust your behaviors; try implementing a practice to recognize each of your employees at least once (everyone can do that!) a week.

Have you done all these things and still no luck? Drop me a line.

Until next time –
Brielle